Dad’s Rubber Band Lesson in a lot of ways is like glue. It may be sticky like gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe. But it certainly is one of the most destructive of the “Don’t do it” lessons.
Even writing this lesson, I find myself taking a deep breath. Wow! Do I know the pain of being the recipient of an unfair attack.
Words from dirty mouths that lie, mock and disrespect another human being. It usually stems from jealousy, envy, spite, or simply to make themselves feel good. It’s some weird self satisfaction that drives selfish, mean-spirited individuals. Pathetic self aggrandization.
Yes, this lesson is painful, because it’s been used to defame and degrade me. It hurts. I still remember. I want to forget. I can’t. That’s how destructive personal attacks can be. It’s so thoughtless, you have to look at the attacker with doubting eyes.
All that this lesson means in describing how the recipient feels, is to describe the indelible reason NOT to be the attacker. You never want to be the “giver” of such evil done to others. You know why, don’t you. FREE WILL.
It’s easy to explain. YOU have the free will to do and say whatever you have the will to do and say.But… Whatever you “give to others” comes back to YOU. Maybe not right away. Maybe not next week or next month, but evil always finds its way back to the “giver.” Believe it. It’s true by a hundred cuts. A million testimonies. Free Will to put misery upon yourself. It’s as simple as that.
In this life, YOU are in control of your own behavior. Whatever slings and arrows life throws your way, you must accept that life is not perfect. Bad acts by bad people happen. Don’t let others deprive you of the joy you deserve.
Dad knew this lesson well. As a Mexican-American man trying to live his American Dream, he was lied about, defamed and even hung in effigy for simply doing what he believed was right.
As a young girl, I saw it with my own eyes. I heard the words people yelled. I didn’t understand it, but I knew it was wrong.
I was hiding behind the seat in my dad’s truck. I don’t think that crowd knew I was there to witness what they were doing. I am positive my dad never expected it, or I wouldn’t have been with him that day.
I saw my dad hurrying to the truck. He asked if I was alright. He took a moment to comfort me, explain what I saw and heard. I thought he was going to start the engine and drive away. He didn’t.
After he told me to stay in the truck, he went back to the crowd. I could see him. He must have been standing on something. He raised his arms and spoke loud, but didn’t yell.
It took some time, but his calm manner and polite words made the crowd of angry men, get quiet. THAT was a lesson I’ll never forget.
Dad showed me that courtesy to even an angry crowd was the right way to react. The men eventually disbanded.
Dad cleaned the trash up. A couple of men stopped to help. I peaked over the seat and saw men reach out their arms and shake hands with my dad.
I was relieved the yelling stopped. I didn’t get out of the truck. I waited for my dad and thought about what I just saw and the smell from something burning that lingered in the air.
Dad could have behaved differently. With anger or fear. But he didn’t. He didn’t fight back. He listened.
4. Don't retaliate. It's smart to defend yourself, but it's not smart to attack someone. When a person "gets even with another person," it starts a chain reaction.
Nothing good ever comes from retaliation. My dad broke that chain reaction. I saw it. He explained it to me the way a young girl would understand:
"Life is a rubber band. What you do and say bounces right back on you."
That’s pretty easy to “get” even today, isn’t it?
I hope my Dad’s Rubber Band Lesson helps you, like it helps me.
You would have liked my dad. He would have made you feel as though you were the most important person he's ever met.
I know he would have liked you.
That's what's on my mind today here at Being Grand. Have a wonderful day. Remember, it’s free to give someone your smile today.