I've raised some incredible children through good times and
not-so-good times. I have done my best to serve my children good food,
good advice, good values, traditions and memories: a sense of heritage and belonging.
They are the best thing I ever did.
My Children
Kim is the big sister. Tim is the first-born son. Steven
is the baby.
I have devoted myself to doing what I thought would make my children
safe and happy.That was my top priority.
DEVOTED
My dream of being the best mom ever started when I played with my
first porcelain-face doll.
I must have been about three years old.
Little did I know that my dream would come true so soon.
I became a mom when I was a teenager.
A few years later, baby number three was on the way.
My dad gave me the money to put a down payment on a little three bedroom, two bath house. It was on Elm Street. How sweet is that.
Every week or so, he'd stop by to leave off big chunks of meat. I
guess he wanted to make sure we didn't go hungry.
Baby
Steven was born and came home from the hospital. Kim and Tim begged
like kids do... to hold their baby brother. They sat next to each other
on our brown tweed sofa and love poured out of them. Their faces were
angelic holding the baby across their two laps. I'll never forget that
moment.
I got busy making that little house a warm and happy home for three children: a four year old, two year old and a new baby.
I
had an unwavering relationship with God. I brought my faith to the
children. From the way the children dressed to how they spoke to
learning catechism, prayers, attending church, blessing our meals... God
was part of our life. My new baby was baptized like his brother and
sister.
Tragedy Visited Baby
When
Steven was 17 months old, he was
burned badly. Doctors told me he was not expected to live through the
night. I prayed to God
in the name of His Son Jesus Christ to save my son. “Let him live,” I
prayed over and over. God did save my son. I was so happy and grateful.
I kept working to turn that little house into a good home. I expressed myself with red, white and blue colors.
How do you like my
"painted red" shutters and homemade curtains. I painted the cupboards
"blue and antiqued them." I still get teased about the red shag carpet I chose for the living room.
That's
daughter Kim, a few years later, washing dishes in that little house on
Elm Street. What a big help she was. A good daughter who loved her
brothers so much. I didn't realize it then. I do now. LIFE is about making memories. Moments in life are forever when you and the people you care about remember when... These are real joys in life. Once time goes by, you can't get it back. All you have is lost memories. The four of us made life together memorable.
I am blessed to have had the opportunity to be the mom of three wonderful children. I witnessed and shared so many moments with each of you. I heard their first word, I watched my babies take their first step, I saw a million smiles. I cried with them, bandaged boo-boos, walked them to school, was at the crosswalk to walk them home, baked cookies with them and cheered for them. I played games with them, tucked them in and more. I wanted so much to be a good mom. I wanted these special children to have the best life. Everything I did was for them.
As I look back through the years, I am fortunate that I have incredible memories.
I sewed he kids clothes I could. t loved sewing the sweetest dresses for Kim to wear. Some with lace trim. Ribbons. Smocking. The boys wore "Cords" (corduroy pants) not blue jeans. Not ever. Girls didn't wear pants to school in those days. After school, for play clothes, okay... but not to school.
Kim and Tim attended elementary school at the same time. They overlapped a bit being in different grades. I walked them to and from school, being a "room mother" and lunch monitor, going to PTA, scouts, plays, sports. I was team mother for the boys sport teams. Little League and Pop Warner. I made the teams some pretty nice after-game refreshments, too.
We had an above-ground swimming pool. It had an attached ladder to climb up and jump in for a nice splash. The blue sides got wobbly and eventually fell apart. No one was swimming in it anymore. At least the water was good for the weeds that were waist high. I just remember all the giggles and laughs that came happily from that pool
I took the kids to Disneyland, seventeen (17) times. That's when a skinny budget could afford the ticket prices.
I may not have done the best job with each of their baby books. There were distractions.
I made “scrapbooks.” for the kids and Tim’s entire sports team one year. I got the wood, stained the fronts and backs, put on a dozen coats of acrylic and sanded between each coat to seal and shine. I went everywhere with my kids, took pictures of Tim playing, Steven and Cheerleader Kim, as well as, the other kids, and filled the pages of each of the scrapbooks with memories for each of them. I was team mother and cheered for their achievements every moment.
The kids and I went on picnics. I think we went to Irvine Ranch. Not sure of the name. The beach.. Kim won first
place for her homemade "Mary had a Little Lamb" costume she wore in a
Halloween parade one year. Good times. Wonderful times.
ALL MY TIME
I
was involved with their lives, hugged them every day and cooked up
meals "then" that they still love to eat today, including meals
concocted from a sparse cupboard, day-old bread, and leftovers. I gave
my children my heart and my time -- That's what I learned from my dad.
They
had terrific birthday parties. Kim had sleep-overs with her girl
friends. The boys added candles to their cakes, year after year.
I was so worried for her safety, but Kim just had to have sailing lessons. I found an instructor with a dinghy sailboat. She learned to sail while I was at work. Steven banged on his drum set in the garage. Tim collected baseball cards.
I wanted to protect them, but I also wanted to make sure they had a happy childhood. Teach them what a happy life looks like. I wanted them to have a healthy view of their future, but I knew the older they got, the more they saw.
I only had one best friend in my whole life. Her name was Erma Ward. Her and her husband, Del, moved to Las Vegas. She knew I loved horses. When her daughter and mine were about ten, our family of five traveled to Vegas for a visit. It wasn't my son's bloody nose, but only four of us were in the car on the long drive back to Elm Street. That was the day I woke up. I wasn't the young sheltered know-nothing teenager anymore. I grew up. I became a divorced Catholic, a single mom and a free woman. Then... my dad died.
The experience taught me a lifelong lesson. You can't recreate the past. You must go forward. Leave the past in the past. Always go forward. You can't change the past, but you can make the future better. Best lesson? Don't keep secrets from the ones you love.
The
day came when I realized we lived in a viper's nest. The devil has succeeded in turning my family against me. I was betrayed by people I thought loved me. I had to get the
kids away. They were young, but not babies anymore. We headed to where
the streets were paved with gold.
I am a lucky mom. Raising them was my responsibility, but they were amazing. It was Kim, Tim, Steven and the "worrier" mom.
They call me a worrier. And I admit, "Okay! I am." Then I add, "but
that's how you all grew up avoiding some of life's big boo-boos." It's a
little family fun and razzing for mom.True Love at First Sight
I can't say the days ahead were golden. There were challenges and hardships. LIFE finally became something good after I met my honey.
These three young adults are the best any mom could ever hope to have. I love them so much.
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| Me and daughter Kim |
I am a mom who never has to wonder how my children feel. They tell me, show me and hug me in a hundred different ways.
A family together is family with loving hearts. I believe it.
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| October Birthday Party |
There is nothing better than sharing time with loved ones. Anytime is a good time.
For Easter, I made the kids creative Easter Baskets made with helmets or something instead of traditional baskets.
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| Kim with Easter Basket |
I used to think up creative ways “older kids” can have fun. Instead of Easter Egg Hunts outside, I hid plastic eggs filled with coins all around the apartment where we lived at the time. Another year, I filled them with jelly beans.
My Honey and I planned "October Birthday" get-together BBQs. I remember My Honey standing in front of the barbecue flipping “flavored” burgers. I especially love being with my family on my birthday, Mother's Day and Christmas. I can't wait for Mother's Day. You can guess why. Now and then my birthday and Mother's Day fall on the same day.
Christmas is the time when my heart is more happy than I can describe. I get so excited, filled with anticipation. It makes my eyes tear up. I love to see their faces and hear my children's voices.
When the doorbell rang, my heart began the “all day” dance. It was my happy gift. Everyone was so happy. We’d cook and the kids and spouses and kids kids sat around one long dining room table with plates filled with food and play some word game I’d plan.
After dinner, we’d do our gift-opening tradition, opening gifts with smiles. Then, they’d find "little" surprises in their stockings that I hung from the mantel over the fireplace. One year, the chocolate candies melted. Ouch.
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| Tim opening gift |
Anyway. That’s when everyone headed for the dessert table. I printed song sheets, so everyone would enjoy singing Christmas carols. Sometimes, the boys would play ball outdoors.
My Honey would start the clean up, and the kids would always take home leftovers.
Celebrating
Christmas together was the best day of the year. Eating and making
memories. What joy. What fun. How grateful I feel that they keep coming
to mom's for Christmas. Our family is blessed.
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Do they remember our family Fourth of July celebrations? They painted pictures on a sheet from a big paper tablet leaning on an easel. We all played croquet on the grass at that condo. We made amazing memories together, year after year.
Love Each Other I tried to keep these kids connected. I must have told them a million times to always "love each other." I did all I could to keep them from drifting apart.
I took lots of photos of the kids at a time when there were no cell phones with cameras. I wanted them to love the time we were all together. I hoped they’d want to repeat that feeling, telling stories that start with "remember when..."
To help them remember, every time My Honey took a roll of film to get developed; he got "duplicates” so we could give the dups to our kids. I’m guessing the kids did the same for their kids. A good tradition for our family.
As I got older, I made “Mom’s Cookbook” full of cooking tips, my favorite recipes, and candid photos of the kids on the pages. I guess I wanted them to remember me, too.
I sorted all my leftover pictures into three “tins” and gave the “tins” to them one year as a Christmas keepsake.
Mom's have been handing out advice to children for centuries, and their tried and tested methods are often the answer to many modern day problems, too. I'm not perfect. In fact, I've made many mistakes, but actually that's not a bad thing. I learned. What I learned, I taught them.
The decisions I made in my life were never about me. I see these moments as if a slide show playing in my mind’s eye. I remember seeing each of my babies faces for the first time, holding each newborn in my arms.
I remember how adorable Kimmy looked with her pink and white baby bonnet. her sleep-overs, Peanut Popcorn and what a happy little girl she was. Dear Kim 2024
Timmy had a great big smile when he lost his two front teeth, took his first swing at a baseball, played football, frosted Christmas cookies, and ate most of them. A mother’s joy, Dear Tim 2024
Steven always had such a sweet nature, crawling to me, making happy sounds when I picked him up. His first word was “mama.” The mess he made on his highchair tray when he learned how to hold a spoon made me smile. When I rocked him to sleep, he was the picture of an angel holding his light blue receiving blanket with his fingers wrapped around a corner of it. Dear Steven 2024
I love all my memories. I love that I have these moments and times to remember.
Mom's have been handing out advice to children for centuries, and their
tried and tested methods are often the answer to many modern day
problems, too. I'm not perfect. In fact, I've made many mistakes, but
actually that's not a bad thing. I learned. What I learned, I taught them.
Easter Brunch 2016. Me and my awesome kids. So happy. I
appreciate my children. I love it when they ask me my opinion on
everything from what color couch... to little things like how to tell if
hamburger has gone bad. I like feeling still needed. I like them
keeping me involved in their lives. It's respect — an act of love.
When
mom does a good job raising the kids, she hopes her children won't need
her anymore... but she still wants to feel as if they do. -- Your Mom
