Updated January 2024: God will soon welcome me back home, so I felt I should update this "diary" a bit. I
am blessed to have had the opportunity to be the mom of three wonderful
children.
I witnessed and shared so many moments with each of them. Every moment an incredible gift i hold dear every day. I got pregnant
with Tim and gave birth when I was 19. I turned 20 the next month. He weighed 7 lbs 7 oz. I hope I have that right. It's been while. Tim did not want to leave his mother, so he took 18 hours of labor to be born. Just a tidbit that he started life loving his mother so much.
Timothy is a Catholic Saints name. St. Timothy was known for his strong faith, gentleness and dedication to the Gospel. I really liked these virtues. He was a companion to St. Paul and was known for his exemplary friendship. St. Timothy is the Patron Saint of stomach disorders. His feast day is January 26.
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| November 2019 |
I fudged the reason a bit in order to baptize
him a Catholic Saint’s name. I chose the name because in our family's Mexican legacy, the first-born son's responsibility is to take care of his mother.
St. Timothy had strength and faith, and that's why I chose the name, no other reason.
Tim was baptized Catholic and was raised with the deep religious convictions I hope he learned from me.
Tim visited in 2023. I can’t recall how it came up. True to his nature, Tim tried to fix what he thought was broken. He said he
thought his brother and sister loved me. I didn’t want to discuss it
with him. It’s not his burden to carry. It's not mine either. We each must answer to God for our own conduct.
Tim is a very attentive and loving son. He's sweet, on the quiet side and he cares about others. Tm has a strong sense of right. He doesn't complain. He just moves forward.
Young and old, Tim does what he thinks is best and that usually means he comes up on the short side for himself. But he's okay with that. This good son always gives more than he gets. That's what I see, In this, he's just like me. "Tim has chosen wisely,"
My Honey and I have been invited to Tim's house multiple times more than both his brother and sister added together.
He doesn’t pay much attention to current events, and he should, but if that's his only "blip," that's good. Tim has made mistakes, but hasn't everyone of us.
Tim is such a caring man. He loves life, his family, his home, his job. He takes care of himself. He spends time with his sons. He's a good dad. In this, he's just like my dad, his grandfather.
Tim remains a good
Catholic. He’s respectful. Most of all, he's attentive and makes me feel like I did a good job as his mother. He compliments me, pays attention to me and gets me gifts that make me feel special.
Of course, the best gift from a child to his mother is love, and my glass runneth over with love from this amazing son.
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| No disrespect intended, but William looks so much like me when I was younger. |
So
you see, being the best mother I could be, under horrific
circumstances, loving and caring for my precious children through great
sacrifices and trauma, makes life worth every misery that knocks on my door.
God really loves me to give me a son like Tim.
Tim's a grown man, and his sons are all grown up, too. Being respectful to the loving mother he knows me to be is
the best example for his children. That's what my dad taught me. That's what I believe to be true.
You know, it's up to parents to teach their children to respect their grands and greats.
Tim’s sons are respectful. Beautiful young men that are just like their dad. I know he gives them his time. That's the best gift my dad gave to me growing up. If my dad were here for me to ask, he'd probably tell me he's proud of the man this son of mine is.
This
son of mine knows who I am and what’s important to me. If he didn't,
I have to believe he would ignore me, never bother teaching his kids to respect me, and live his life disconnected from his link to who he is and who is ancestors are. It's important to know that.
The decisions I made in my life were never about me, but now they have to be. I deserve to be happy. Son, Tim and his boys, make me feel loved and appreciated. That makes me happy.
I
raised my three children with love in my heart. That’s really all I had
to give. I used to say, “If you ever wonder what’s the right thing to
do, ask yourself, what would my mother do? You'll have your answer.
I think about my
dreams for our family, being a good mom to them, helping each one find
their way, avoiding mistakes, being a good parent so their children
appreciate and respect them, and feeling no regret when they're where I
am, ripe with wisdom.
I browse these pages. I looks like we were such a happy
family. I always thought we were. The few pictures and words I wrote made me realize at the end of
the day, that’s all we have. Memories. God has blessed me. I believe He blesses Tim and his sons, too.
These are the trials and tribulations I have lived and learned. ///