My Honey and I lovingly say we’ve been together “all our lives.” I think it’s time I added him to my blog.
My Honey's name is Dan. We met and married 35 years ago 80s). All three of my children were by my side to witness the promises we made to each other.
He’s a quiet man with a healthy sense of humor; a man with a code of honor that thanks God, always chooses truth, and takes pride in doing what’s right. My Honey is a military brat. He's lived and attended school on bases in America and overseas.
We visited his family home in Sierra Madre and visa versa. Dan Sr. was a man of deep faith and used to sing gospel songs. We have a recording of him singing, “The Lord’s Prayer,” that makes my eyes tear. So beautiful. He attended our wedding. A few years after my mother passed, My Honey’s dad passed away with full military honors. All my children were present. Steven video’d the funeral. So thankful to him for that. What a good son.
My Honey and I attended Sunday mass week after week including Palm Sunday when we received blessed palms, and Christmas Eve midnight mass. We supported our church with modest offerings.
It may seem our life was easy. He’s delivered newspapers in the cold and rain; worked at a sandwich shop; printing company, insurance provider and retailer. You could say we looked well off, but were of limited means. We chose the lot and built our “little house on the prairie.” That was a lot of fun. We paid for a wider lot and spent a whole lot of time nursing each step of the build.
My Honey unloaded the U-Haul by himself. He moved furniture around for me more than two or three times, Dan put up double curtain rods, hung curtains, and even built and covered a shadow box for the dining room window.
He figured out how to put the curtains with valance up on the curved tri-window over the window seat in the breakfast nook. Dan put up our family gallery of the children and grandchildren pictures; my three collectible demitasse spoon racks, and two framed matchbook collections. He installed gas logs in our fireplace.
I loved my "farmhouse" decorator style. My honey supported my unique style with enthusiasms. He put up our "chicken" wall clock with swinging feet. So cute. 
He designed a garden, planted our grass, built a pergola, installed a hummingbird feeder, created walkways and installed trees. Weeds had no chance in our yard.Let me say that I have a pretty terrific honey. He takes care of me in every way a man should; he makes me feel good about myself every day, every second. He has never complained, never ever hit me or chased me around the house to do me harm. He never degraded me, intimidated me or threatened to end my life. He was never a sloppy drunk, took a small child to bars, was out of control or violent. He’s never stopped me from having friends, and never made me feel like a prisoner. He’s never said one bad word about anything I did, not even any of the meals I put in front of him. He is always a member of the "clean plate club."
You could call My Honey a jack of all trades with an encyclopedia of skills. I know this, because I've witnessed what My Honey has done all these years.
Long ago, he more than earned the right to be part of our family and our family history. To support my mission to keep the children connected,.. He helped me plan "get-togethers."
I loved bringing the family together. I wanted to build memories that would keep the kids and kids kids loyal to each other. Bonded. My goal was to teach them to love each other all the time. No matter what. I knew what would happen as they grew older, unless they could avoid criticizing each other, respect differences; be tolerant if there are disagreements. I knew that any of that would lead to hurt feelings, jealousy and judgmental gossip.
Year after year, I planned holiday get-togethers. My Honey helped host 4th of July celebrations. Even though our kids were grown, we made home-made Easter baskets for the three adult children filled with goodies and gifts. We planned Easter egg hunts outdoors and sometimes indoors.
Our annual Christmas get-togethers were awesome. I stuffed stockings with little gifts, novelties and candy for our three grown-up kids ‘cause the kids kids had parents to pamper them. Our three would have been forgotten if we hadn’t focused on them. Being "older" was all the more reason to make them feel special.
It sometimes took days to prepare the special dinners and desserts. I wanted the day to be a really happy memory. My Honey hung lights outside on the house and set up a Christmas train of neon on our lawn. Lights on the grass lined the sidewalk to the front door. It was beautiful.
I tried to give gifts everyone would like. Not sure I succeeded, but under the Christmas tree gifts were piled high untill...
The last two or three years, my health declined a bit… My Honey helped make enchiladas and purchased tamales from a local eateries to ease cooking all the food I wanted to serve. He shopped and chopped, and did some decorating, too.
My honey packed up leftovers for the kids to take home, cleaned up the house and washed dishes after every single family get-together.
No woman could ask for a better husband, partner, friend, companion, sweetheart. He is my soulmate. My true love. Anything he does, he does with perfection
Step-Father
My Honey not only married a single mother, he accepted the responsibility of three kids who were somewhere between young and green.
We’ve been together for 35 years. Triple the time my children and I lived in that sweet little house on Elm Street.
From day one, My Honey immediately accepted three children as his own… maybe because he loves me, and they are part of me. Maybe because he’s a good and decent man. After 35 years, he’s proved to be a dad any child would want their dad to be. The best. I love that.
My Honey doesn’t judge others. It’s not his nature. It’s not who he is.
Over these past decades he’s bailed one or two youngins’ out of jail and never said a word about bail money or poor behavior. He’s given our kids his time; supported them through trouble and hardship. He’s shared happy times and been part of their memories.
The very day of our marriage, one of our sons was living with me. My Honey never complained. Instead, my brand new husband drove his daughter-in-law, a complete stranger, to work and picked her up everyday for… I can’t remember how long. My Honey would have been within his rights to refuse or object. He didn't.
Over the years, all three adult children and their families have lived with us for a short time. I don’t mean they lived with me. I mean they lived with their parents. That's what good “parents” do to support the needs of their children.
When our daughter was sick in the hospital, we were there for her. When our son was in the hospital, we were there. He stayed. Never left.
My Honey was always helpful. He never raised his voice, criticized or complained. He never kicked in the TV, never hit them, bruised or bloodied or harmed any of them in any way. He always made time for them, showed up when needed or asked. He gave our kids his unconditional support and time. He deserves their respect. He certainly has mine.
My Honey has been a good father for our three kids, even though he is their step-father. That's the way I feel.
Grandfather
My honey was present at every wedding. He was at the hospital for the birth of every new grandbaby, and was one of the first to hold each infant in his arms. He was there for birthday parties, and baptisms.
My Honey and I were so proud to be asked to be the youngest grandson’s Godparents. We attended "Godparent" classes at church to be able to be this sweet baby's Godparents. It was a joy.
My Honey showed up at grandkids school events like grandparents day; for scouting awards, and to watch dance and sporting events when we were invited. He's chauffeured kids and grandkids. He has always been dependable. He's alway felt a special connection to them. I know they feel it, too.
 |
| Son Tim and My Honey |
Dan is my best friend. Someone I trust with my life. He's the best husband any woman would want. He loves to play golf (has made two hole-in-ones) and watch sports, He loves our family, our puppy dog and me.
My kids and kids kids are adults. My parents have both passed. I may be nearing the exit do or of life. I am grateful to God for my many blessings, especially the wonderful man I dearly call My Honey.