Good morning blog. I am so inspired by the absolute goodness of some people that I feel frozen in retrospect. It was Invictus. That's the movie my honey and I watched last night. Date night. Blog! I am still reeling from this movie's message. No, wait. It's not the movie. The movie was just the instrument. It is the story told. It is the true telling of the power of forgiveness and what a sweeping affect it can have.
An Incredible Story That is Good for the Soul!
This morning as I drink my two cups of coffee, sip my orange juice and munch on my lightly buttered toast, my mind races through the history of my life faster than a speeding bullet. The names and faces of the people who have hurt me flash before my eyes like scraps of paper torn up and thrown on the floor. What have I done to retaliate any offenses that I feel were put upon me unjustly? Have I forgiven? Am I a forgiving person?
These are questions that belong in my discovery journey. So I thank the Lord for putting this movie in my path.
Luckily, there are only a few people I've known in the course of my life [so far] that I feel have offended me in some large way. Most biting moments are little nothings that can be chalked up to a bad day, bad mood or just plain venting. These small digs are more peccadillos rather than intentional misdeeds.
But… a couple of faces do pop up in my brain where the assault on my feelings --- or on me personally --- was more than just a slam. These affronts were not isolated incidents. As moments in my life click across the inside of my brain like the frames in slide show… I realize that these violations were an onslaught of zingers and misdeeds that resembled a continuous, calculated military attack that had no end.
I see clearly now that time has passed… it's a way of behaving for some people, and for these self-indulgent folks, I was the beneficiary, more often than I'd like to recall. I was young and too innocent to retaliate at all. My solution then, was to hide and cry. Yes, I can see their faces in the invisible space of my thoughts. Loathe am I to even think about these mean-spirited individuals at this time in my life. I used to believe that these transgressions were simply a passing doodle in life's notebook and not a way of life for these callous souls. I guess that's the best I could do in the way of forgiveness… until I saw this movie, Invictus.
Yes, this movie has impacted me. Not that I am anything close to being blessed with such a stalwart character, but I can learn.
In answer to my marching question, "Who Am I," I wonder if I am a forgiving person, and if so, are there exceptions, or should I forgive everyone for everything all the time. Hmmm
I will think on that.
But blog… I suddenly realized an even bigger question. Who have I offended and what am I going to do about that. Do I know who I've offended? Do I know who feels as if I've offended them? Who is it in my life that I need to ask forgiveness from???
Gad. I'm not sure. No one, I hope. No one comes to mind. But I don't think that's possible. People, including me, just can't go through life without being disagreeable to people they know.
Before I can check this off my list, I will need to do some deep soul searching. I may even need to reach out. Not sure what to do. But this is another answer I need to find in my quest.
This seems disturbing to me, but if not for my precious pup, I would be sad today. I see Bailey (mainly because he's always nearby). Bailey is the perfect person, if a dog could be a person. Dogs by nature are forgiving. Bailey is well treated, but If only he could speak, I would have the consummate educator right next to me all day long. How great would life be with such a scholarly adviser by my side. If only he could speak.
