I am back. Back from what you ask? Are you asking what I am back from? Here's a little secret. Front is opposite of back, but back can also mean return. If it's return, then from where? Did I go and come back? Did I turn my back on something and now I face it with enthusiastic vigor?
My oh my, I can confuse myself. Well now, blog. I write here food for thought. I punch the keyboard keys, wear out my fingertips, bend and move my fingers as if playing Moonlight Sonata on a grand piano. But it's not hand exercises I am after. Oh no, not hand exercises. It's the music my heart feels when I discover my thoughts as if I just opened one of those time boxes after being buried for 100 years. [Yup! I bounce my finger taps on and on to free my mind. Yeeousee… it feels so good.
But I digress… I am back from the dungeon of depression. I thought the other day that I might be depressed, but not. I do feel sad and possibly not-in-like with myself. That passes leaving me with the blues colored grey. Go wonder. What the heck are the greys?
I ponder if what makes me go from black to grey are my own expectations. After living the good life, I think I've gained some wisdom. Experience anyway. I might be mistaken, but I have expectations about today and tomorrow. Not yesterday. That's gone. Nothing anyone can do to change yesterday. But if we didn't like yesterday, we can use that information to make today better. Yea! My newest revelation is that why stop at today.
Blog, you know I am a planner. I've planned everything my whole life. I write it down. Commit to it. Make it happen. So today is the first day of the rest of my life. [cliche, I know] Only I have the power to make my life what I want it to be tomorrow and all the tomorrows I have on this earth. But only for God to know and me to accept.
As I look back at times that I have messed up, made huge mistakes, wrong choices, bad memories, I ask those who I have wounded to forgive me. I now forgive myself. I pray for God's forgiveness. I now go forth a new me. I plan to plan a plan that I want and then I plan to plan the action required to make the plan happen. Happen like Cinderella making the good life truer just the way I want it. Whew! Now I psyched. I am back. That's a fact. I am back, blog. Off I go to plan.
Till the morrow when we blog together again. I'm off, blog, to preserve it. I am back.
