In the most recent Census Bureau statistics, 2.4 million of the nation's families are maintained by grandparents who have one or more of their grandchildren living with them--an increase of 400,000 (19 percent) since 1990. These families comprise 7 percent of all families with children under 18.
About two-thirds of grandparent-maintained families include one or both of the children's parents.
Staggering. It looks as though grandparents are a treasure that the kids and kids of the kids can rely on when hard times come their way. But what if not? What goes on when all is well?
For me, I am overjoyed that I did such a good job raising my children that they are now productive citizens in their communities. A blessing to the entire family. An extraordinary role model for their own children. I feel as though I have planted seeds that will grow for generations to come. All I need from my grandchildren is to see them taking care of the garden that life gave them. It's reward in and of itself.
But what grandparent doesn't appreciate and rejoice when a grandchild pays special attention to the partnership.
For most, it's true that as grandparents, we want to make the most of the time we get to spend with our grandchildren. What we do with that time depends on many factors including health and age. Both the age of the grand and of the grand parent. Activities normally include the interests of both the grandparents and the grandchildren. Activities change as the grands grow older. Time always changes relationships, but any kind of positive contact keeps the flowers blooming.
Anyone can create deep, loving relationships with their grandchildren by starting at infancy or anytime for that matter. As time passes, you want to participate in their life. Talk with them.
Whether you’re a full-time grandparent, a step-grandparent, or a long distance grandparent living thousands of miles away, you can find ways to strengthen family ties and provide your grandchildren with joyful memories and valuable life lessons.
For the grands, they need to pay attention now to the day they themselves will be grandparents. It seems a long way off, but no it's not. Life is short. Start now to pave the path that you want when you have grands. Be. Act. Do now what you would have done to you.
It shouldn't surprise any grandparent to know that grands can be the root of hurt. Wise as we are, we don't show and tell.
One hurt might come from the too-busy young adults who simply take the grandparent for granted. Hi, hello, how r ya brings a smile to grandma's face, but if it's insincere, a courtesy that feels uncaring, that can hurt. [Yes] Grandkids get busy with the practice of growing up, school, friends... but do grands these days only show love and respect to their parents and overlook the grandparents? Do grands recognize how grandparents feel?
What's so grand about grandparents? Most grandparents are so eager to have grandchildren, they bend on knee to pray for that auspicious day of days. The birth day of a grand child.
All I know is that I can't wait for talk. Calls. Texts. Visits. Sign of caring. Lucky am I that I have the best kids in the whole world. Simply awesome kids who raised awesome kids of their own. Lucky am I you say? I am indeed.
For the computer-savvy, the Internet adds a whole new dimension to the grand relationship. Email, instant messaging, texting and video conferencing can all help build awesome relationships your grandchildren. Use the available technology to engage your grandchild. Try exchanging jokes or favorite family recipes via text or email. Text and ask for a text back. Always always express how you feel toward them. Say "I love you and miss seeing you" often often often. Most young people today need constant reinforcement.
The best rule to getting some quality attention from your grandchild is to ask for it. How can anyone expect to read your mind. Each person in your circle of influence needs to know what you want and hope for. Say it. Tell it. Ask for it. Often. Don't be surprised if YOU are the one who has to initiate and maintain contact… at least until young people become of age so to speak.
Please come for Christmas. I want to see you this year for Christmas. I don't want to spend Christmas without you here. It means so much to have you join me for Christmas day. Please come. Please be here. Please share this time with me.
When my children were small, very very small, I wrote them a list of my hopes. Among the items was, "always come home for Christmas" -- that was a seed I planted many moons ago. They have never let me down, and I think it's because I have made it known for their whole life what I want, hope for and expect. What kid wants to let their parent down. Speak up people.
Plant the seeds. You must say what you want. Otherwise, do not expect anyone, especially the grands, to know how you feel.
That's it on the grands for now, blog.
