In keeping with Mother's Day week before, I started thinking about gifts that mother may receive from her children. Gifts range from a hand-painting, crayon drawing and big hug to a personally made greeting card, store-bought card, digital singing card delivered via email to gifts older children give. Gifts wrapped up like a Christmas box with bows.
Therein lies the feat. How do grownup kids know what gift to give mom? Without asking. "Hey mom, any ideas on what you'd like to get this Mother's Day?" and without a family wish list kids can refer to… how does a son and daughter know what gift is the best gift to let mom in on their innermost feelings of love and respect. Hmmm, good question.
My mom passed last year in March so come May, gifting was not on my mind that year. In previous years, I always, never missed gifting my mom, because even though I had grievances with mom as children even adult children do on this day or that and on occasion remembering, I never let her know. No accusations. No confrontations. I never said a word. She didn't know. Never. It was childish and stupid to even think of such. No mom is perfect. But perfect can be shown as it should. That's the path I followed. Chosen by me. Now I know how truly good that was.
I flowered my mother abundantly with musical gifts, glittery gifts and sparkles as well as words written down she loved.
I always treated my mother with the respect a mother deserves and that includes the outward movements a mother expects. Counts on. Deserves from the day of child birth. That's just a fact and I hope I have passed this rule of respect on to my own children.
I never questioned her love for me, even though it would have been easy to feel that way. I chose not to. I ptrgrttrd to be a good daughter, the best daughter I could be..
My mom and I spoke often, but guaranteed, it was that twice in the month a call to me and me to her. Calls are fruit filled with voice. You see, my mother lived in another state so visiting was not the driving across town experience that it was when I lived miles but few away.
I knew my mom well so it was easy to gift her, because I took enormous time to discover her likes so she could feel delight with gifts I gave. A bit wise I think as with delight I believed followed feelings of loved she was by me especially near the end.
As the years melted away, it became more difficult to send a box gift. After all, she pretty much had everything and needed less. But now passed, I have a happy heart that I was able to delight her many many times. I made sure of that. That's who I am.
As I grow older, I am not sure my children really know me. Maybe. Maybe more could be learned. Not sure. I search my brain to find memories of questions asked or experiences shared that may reveal me to them. I can't remember.
A few years ago, I started the family wish list where we all wrote down our Christmas gift wishes, sizes and color preferences. We then copied and circulated the stack of lists of all to the each of one. This way we all easily discovered what a good gift could be directly for the one. Mom included. I stopped being list leader and no one did undertake it so now this list is list not done. Maybe for the good as it deprived each in the knowing of the other.
I'll bet that moms receive elephant gifts galore if an adult child has taken little time to get to know their mom. But no matter because I believe that it isn't the gift, but the selection of the gift that's the gift.
Gifts in a box or wrapped make a great memory present. "I know you, mom, and I know what you like." This gifting is not about the guess-right purchase, but rather represents the time and face put on the calendar to share with mom. That's a gift to cherish. "How did you know this is just what I wanted? I love it." Words not about the gift, but about the knowing what to give.
Gift giving is not a purchase but meaning behind the gift given. For mom, the best gift is the showing of love. This Mother's Day. Everyday. Caring needed freely and liberally. Respect [as mom deserves recognition for the life genesis]. Knowledge shared. Time entertained. Hours granted gladly. [Yes] There can be no doubt that this one day, Mother's Day, is the day to speak out, show lively, give heartedly for only one mother there is. Showing love and affection. Pampering mother makes delight the thing to do.
When gone to God as my mother is the day is no more. With this thought in my head, I know the best gift and there can be no doubt. It is the gift a child still has even from a mother now absent.
That's all for today.