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| Mom never stops being your mother |
Here are 7 things you can do to make yourself more interesting, and some no-nos that could make you an outcast.
A lot of people fall into the trap of believing that people should listen to them -- just because words are coming out of their mouth. It usually doesn’t work that way. When you want someone to listen to you, you have to say something interesting or you won't be able to capture that person's interest for long.
It's not that people are rude. People are busy. This is a busy world and most have many things competing for their attention. When you're interesting, it breaks through the noise.
Fortunately, there are things you can do to make yourself more interesting. It might take some time and effort, but it is worth it, if you want to get your thoughts and ideas heard next time you speak.
You must practice. It won't come easy, but the result of practicing how to be interesting is that once you develop a reputation for being interesting, people quickly get accustomed to stopping what they're doing. They listen to you intently every time, because they know whatever you're saying is interesting: They don't want to miss a word.
They don't know what's happening in the world. They turn off the news, and close their eyes and ears to anyone else's point of view. It's no wonder the only thing they have to say is to expound their own self-interest and view points.
1. Have a new and different perspective
Have a slightly different perspective on something that matters to you. People listen to those who open their minds to new ways of seeing the world.
A great example of this is Jerry Seinfeld. Seinfeld’s humor involves every day items and experiences, but he put an odd spin to it. This made his audience want to listen. They were curious about what he would say next.
One word of warning, you can take this too far. You don’t want people to think you are a know-it-all. Your perspective needs to be unique, but not bourish or wacky. Be sure to tailor the wording of your message to the audience and situation to maximize your effectiveness.
2. Have broad horizons
A small mind leads to boring conversation. Educate yourself on a wide-range of topics. Read, travel and talk with people of all backgrounds to gain interesting and varying insights. Read social media, such as "Truth Social" and learn lots of different views.
Develop your own opinions on a wide array of topics, but be open to learning new perspectives, too. A part of becoming interesting is listening and learning from other engaging people.
Will Rogers was an Okie that on the surface seemed very simple, but he had traveled around the world three times, made 71 movies and wrote more than 4,000 newspaper columns. I bet he was real interesting!
3. Don’t just talk about yourself and your experiences
It's fine to share what you have to say, but don’t dwell too long on your own views. Turn the conversation around by asking an open-ended question to engage your listener.
People are more interested in what you have to say when you take an interest in their opinions, as well. Don’t just talk about yourself. Ask about others.
4. Be curious about everything
This goes along with having broad horizons. Remember Curious George? He was a little monkey that explored his world to its full extent. Sometimes this got George into a little mischief, but he also learned a lot from his adventures.
The more you know, the more you grow! The deeper the well of knowledge and information you have to draw upon, the more interesting you become.
5. Try to truly empathize with others
Empathize means to understand the words, feelings and meanings of another. Say you've had a bad day, or maybe you're just feeling low. Someone says something that annoys you. What do you do?
Some people feel inclined to spout unpleasant words. Swearing, yelling and flinging insults come to mind from some of the programing on TV. You can probably think of a few mouthy characters yourself. Abuse, bullying, violence, fear and terror isn't just on TV, is it?
Conversation clutter is what I call words that hurt. For example, have you heard someone you know swear lately? Even if that person felt strongly that saying "blank you" or worse, was deserved, it hurt, didn't it? The natural reaction is to swear back. The only thing bouncing hurt back and forth does is turn hurt into violence, and you know what that leads to -- nothing good.
Of course, there are disagreements, but families and friends resolve differences. They don't perpetuate them. Call each other names. Blame each other. That serves no purpose except to divide and split relationships apart. You know that's true.
When the person finishes what they have to say, don't flutter your feathers. The words you say are simple. "I understand what you're saying." That's it. That's all and only what you say. No "but."
It's difficult at first. Most people have to break the bad habits of disagreement and interruption, spontaneous anger, hurt feelings of rejection, and defensive snarks, in order to say those five magic words.
Ban complaints and criticisms from your brain. Turn the channel when you hear conversation clutter on TV. Walk away. Don't join in. Avoid people who are conversation clutter-bugs. If you fail to treat the people you care about with respect, how can they respect you back?
There's no argument that family members should treat each other with respect and forgiveness. It's not always easy, is it? A single thread of disrespect won't unravel the family quilt, but one loose thread can lead to a second, can't it?
Stephen Covey tells us to “Seek first to understand.” This is good advice. Be sure you fully comprehend all aspects of a situation before you offer your opinion about it.
We often go off half-cocked. We think we know the full picture and begin spewing forth our advice before we’ve listened thoroughly. Verify that you understand clearly before you start talking. This keeps your ideas from being dismissed.
6. Inject a little humor
Clever humor lightens a conversation and helps to relax and engage people. Of course, you have to know when, where and how to add humor into the conversation. Otherwise, it creates an awkward moment that may lose your audience. It can even offend if someone feels the topic is serious in nature.
Smiling is also a great way to non-verbally relay positive emotion to others. It makes people feel good when you smile, and this leads to more attentive listening.
7. Be enthusiastic and passionate
Every topic is more interesting when the speaker brims with enthusiasm and passion. People automatically feel drawn into situations when we hear emotion in the voice of the person speaking.
Put your whole heart into what you are saying. Of course, your enthusiasm has to be authentic, or what you say instantly falls on deaf ears. This is why we discount a lot of sales pitches, because our instincts tell us that their hype is phony.
Sincere enthusiasm and passion engages people every time. It also makes you feel good and that's healthy.
Be interesting and people listen to every word you say! People like to listen and talk when a person makes an effort to be interesting. Follow these 7 things you can do to make yourself more interesting and see the results for yourself.